There are few people in this world with as much mastery of the depraved as John Waters. True, ever since the late 70’s he’s gotten more mild and mainstream, and let’s face it—how can one top Pink Flamingos? But I was reminded (and inspired) last night that sexual depravity CAN be an art form. I re-watched “A Dirty Shame”, and had forgotten just how funny this movie is. The very idea that sexual addiction is “a privilege” had me nodding empathically. And I found myself texting one-liners to my friends. A few faves:
“He has no right to be that hard!”
“Look, I’m not a prude—I’m married to an Italian.”
“It’s not safe out! People are shaving their crotches as we speak! There’s pubic hair in the air! Everywhere!”
I love Water’s ability to poke fun at the stick-up-their-arse folks who still think it reasonable to “wait until marriage”…folks who are so ashamed at their own sexuality that they have to lash out at others. I also love his ability to turn any kind of smut, depravity, or otherwise “gross” obsession into glamour. Sex will ALWAYS be a fascinating subject, and he handles it with the seriousness of a court jester, thankfully. I rely on people like Waters to shed some forgiving light on what I do. Yes, I love sex. All kinds of sex, with all kinds of people. I love my job. I love knowing I’ve pleased someone. And if that makes me a whore, so be it. There are less honorable ways of putting a roof over one’s head, I’m sure you’ll agree. At least we both know what the other wants, and is willing to give it.
It’s time for people to take the stigma out of sex and realize it’s a healthy, natural thing. We all do it, or, at least, we all WISH we were doing it! And further, fetishes are more commonplace than you think. This movie reveals some of the many “unusual” fetishes you might not have heard about. The point is– we’re out there! All around you!

So I just wanted to thank Mr. Waters for just pointing out what we are all thinking anyway. It’s time to go sexing!

Posted in Sex.

Today I’m going to delve into a favorite topic of mine…fetishes. The word alone invokes sexual desire and makes most peoples’ faces have an O reaction. Add fetish onto the end of any word in a conversation to see what I mean.

For example: I had the most amazing lunch with my coworker, it was so satisfying. However, now I need to head into the bathroom and rub one out…because I have a major sushi fetish. ;)

Being in the phone sex business, we obviously get a variety of calls from fetishists.

First let’s define these terms:

According to Wikipedia: Sexual Fetishism, or Erotic Fetishism, is defined as “the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is called a fetishist.”

Now on to the fun! Exploring some of the top fetishes out there…

Here’s a great article, with a list of ten top fetishes:

Top 10 Fetishes
1. Voyeurism and Exhibitionism

2. Golden Showers
3. Water
4. Braids, Ponytails, Pigtails
5. Fingernails and Lipstick
6. Feet and Hands
7. D&S (Domination and Submission)
8. Leather, Rubber, Vinyl, Latex
9. Body Piercings
10. Stomachs

OK, great foreplay but today I want something freakier for my main course.

8 Freakiest Fetishes
1. Woolies: obsessed about wool clothing

2. Squashing Fetish: obsessed about getting squashed by an XL woman
3. Robot Fetishism: obsessed about robots
4. Objectophilia: obsessed about objects
5. Looners: obsessed about balloons
6. Mucophilia: obsessed about sneezing
7. Pedal Pushing Fetish: obsessed about pedal gas pumping
8. Hands on the Hip Fetish: obsessed with this position

6 Depraved Sexual Fetishes that are older than you think
1. Sadomasochism
2. Zoophilia
3. Necrophilia
4. Foot Fetishism
5. Autoerotic Asphyxiation

6. Tentacle Rape

10 Bizarrely Hilarious Fetishes
1. Macrophilia: Women with giant vaginas
2. Spectrophilia: Supernatural lovers
3. Exophilia: Alien lovers
4. Flatulophilia: Fart fetishism
5. Agalmatophilia: Statue fetishism
6. Sploshing and Sitophilia: Food fetish
7. Hierophilia: Religious fetishism
8. Smoking Fetishism
9. Kleptolagnia: Stealing fetish
10. Trichophilia: Hair fetish

Strange Sex Fetishes and Practices
1. Balloon Fetishism (poppers and non poppers)
2. Hematolognia: Vampire Sex
3. Adult Baby Syndrome
4. Knismolagnia: Tickling Fetish
5. Flying in the Nude
6. Karezza: Prolonging or Denying Release (similiar to Tantra, but more of a control factor)
7. Sexual Surrogates
8. Sploshing (basically like a food fight, with yourself)
9. Agalmatophilia: Doll Fetish
10. Love Huts
11. Objectum Sexuality
12. Ursusagalmatophiliacs: Furries
13. Exophilia: Alien Sex
14. Trichophilia: Hair Fetish
15. Tantric Sex

20 Strange and Disturbing Sexual Fetishes
1. Symorophilia: Arousal caused by accidents or disasters
2. Dendrophilia: Sexual interest in trees
3. Frotteurism: Rubbing up against a non-consenting person
4. Enderacinism: Arousal caused by the thought of ripping out sexual organs
5. Mucophilia: Sexual pleasure related to mucas
6. Autonepiophilia: Sexual pleasure derived by dressing like an infant
7. Gerontophilia: Sexual preference for the elderly
8. Salirophilia: Fetish involving soiling others
9. Ursusagalmatophilia: Arousal caused by dressing like a furry animal
10. Aptemnophilia: Aroused by amputees
11. Formicrophilia: Arousal caused by insects bitting or crawling on body
12. Vorarephilia: Aroused by thought of eating or being eaten by sexual partner
13. Zoosadism: Sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain on animals
14. Agalmatophilia: Statue or mannequin fetish
15. Mechanophilia: Sexual attraction to cars or machines
16. Avisodomy: Sex with a bird
17. Oculolinctus: Erotic pleasure via licking someone’s eyeball
18. Psychrophilia: Arousal contingent upon contact with cold objects
19. Hierophilia: Sexual attraction to religious objects
20. Catheterophilia: Sexual interest in catheter usage

So, there are a few repeats…but interesting to see what’s out there in the fetish world, right.
You’re not alone in your masturbatory fantasies!

Two of my personal favorite fetishes that surprisingly were not included in the above lists are:
Spanking: including erotic spanking, punishment, whipping, flogging, paddling
Bondage: mainly rope fetish, but also including handcuffs, scarves, ties, belts

The imagination is a wonderful thing, let the fantasies continue. Cheers to your pleasure…and mine. ;)