Let’s be honest here, okay? Not all of us are gonna be going out to dinner and a movie this weekend with someone. And who wants to go out anyway, it’s gonna be crowded as fuck everywhere! I hate crowds and I hate waiting in line. Valentine’s Day is for regular people, and I am NOT a regular person. Bah humbug! Lol. So yeah, I’m probably gonna be holed up in my apartment, watching all kinds of porn (big dicks are my favorite), getting REALLY WET & rubbing one out a few times and talking to guys on the phone.

My best friend (who’s also a phone sex chick btw with a VERY sexy voice and might I add is hot in real life) will most likely come over and keep me company. She’s weird and freaky like me, and if you saw us together you’d probably think we’re sisters. We’re gonna hang out, eat pizza in our underwear, drink beer, laugh and talk shit about people we hate, and if you call…we’ll probably be drunk and we’ll probably be VERY horny by then…and then we’re gonna give you the BEST phone sex threesome gangbang mindfuck you’ve ever had, because we’re damn good at it. And you’ll cum HARD, but seriously though…don’t cum too quick ok?! We HATE that shit.

So you just have to call & find out! Let’s fucking party phone sex style! Fuck V-Day lol xox

Call us! 1-800-745-PLAY

Dead! I love phone sex spoofs, especially when they’re really funny. This one had me rolling!!

Have I told you that I love talking shit to a dude, it makes my day. It gets my adrenaline pumping actually…

just saying! Sluts gotta have fun too ;)


I’ve searched on Google and found sporadic answers here and there (mostly on Yahoo). I figured I would compile all that I’ve seen and put it here, because no matter how many times I’ve had phone sex, I still constantly wonder why guys like it too? I guess I’m just weird like that. Edited for the atrocious spelling & use of grammar. Some of these are really fucking hilarious by the way. More will be added as I find them!

  • Obviously to jerk off
  • Because thinking that you’re playing with yourself at the same time is hot.
  • Because we don’t have to see the ugly face of the woman.
  • Because it’s the closest thing to getting tail that a guy can do, besides a webcam
  • Cuz they’re perverted horn dogs. Guys like any form of sex. Phone sex, real sex, cyber sex. Pervs. lol
  • I’d rather have phone sex if I’m horny because I’d be talking at least with a live girl I know and more than likely really like and I’ll probably be seeing her later and will be able to act out some of the phone sex lol, whereas watching porn is just watching nude strangers in a video that are acting fake and without any interaction besides and then being let down later when with real girls that don’t seem as sexy. Phone sex is always sexy and a huge turn on because you can keep making your own stories. Porno can get boring once you’ve seen it all.
  • Ok they like it cuz it can feel good or they dont want to get the girl pregnant and they may just have a chode

Which leads me to the next question from the last bullet point: what is a chode? I always thought ‘chode’ was the area between your butthole and genitals. But whatever!

Apparently, ‘chode’ means different things to different people. Here it is from Urban Dictionary:

A penis wider than it is long
My boyfriend wanted a hand-job but i couldn’t get a good grip because he had a chode.
And so I laughed and I laughed. That is all.
So um, call me. So we can laugh and talk shit about how lame & stupid phone sex is…then have phone sex right after ;)

Stumbled upon some really cool art! Check out Ulrik Bad Ass on Tumblr. This person highly emphasizes that the girls portrayed are 18 and over. It’s called fantasy art for a reason, so get a grip.


Got a thing for trans girls and want to roleplay right now?

Call 800-779-BLOW