I wanna ride you til you CUM, babe!!

No need to make it more than it needs to be.
I’m horny, you’re horny.
Let’s phonefuck and degrade the fuck out of each other then.😘

Call 1-800-BIGTITS

No one is noticing my legendary hat because of mom.

Xavier: Do you need step father?


Life as a kid must be hard when your mom is way too young and way too fucking sexy, literally attracting more attention than you. She’s doing it “for the gram” in those skintight outfits and you’re probably traumatized by it. In your subconscious mind, you might even get horny and have “wet” dreams of your own mother!

Do you remember her breastfeeding you when you were little, which makes you want to grope and suck on her titties now?

Did she ever undress or change clothes in front of you so your model of a grown woman is your mom?

What in the actual fuck…

Is it your fault tho that your mom makes herself look that way?

Don’t blame yourself for having such dirty, nasty, incestuous thoughts.

Phone sex therapy will alleviate your issues with Mommy in the meantime. Talk it out with me, and stroke it if you have to. Confess to me what you cannot EVER tell a soul!

You know what to do, honey…I’ll be waiting for your call!

Call 1-800-HOTMILF

I’m writing this real quickie style to let yall know I’m here and I’m horny AF!! So fuckin horny that I gotta rub my dripping wet pussy on a pillow. Ohhh it feels REALLY wet and slimy down there. It’s hard to give all the details so someone please call me rn before it goes away, I’d love to get off with someone!

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

Wow it’s been a long fucking time since I’ve updated this blog. Crazy, right? Where the fuck have I been? Let’s just say, I’ve been managing a newer phone sex blog so obviously this one’s gotten neglected.

But not to worry my perverts, I might be back. Or not. Whatever.

I love phone sex commercial spoofs, they’re funny as fuck and they make my day. There has to be humor in what I do or else I’d be very sad and probably just kill myself.

But seriously though, who’s the babe? She’s HOT!! And can we say TIG OL’ BITTIES much??😍😍😍

Good job Huf, you’ve got me to pay attention!

So fuck it, you wanna have some one-on-one phone sex fun for real?? Click or call the phone number below!

Call 1-800-PHONESEX

This is Denise Milani. She looks MILFY as fuck here so I pulled her pic just for you. Here is her Instagram.

Fap to this pic along with a sexyass voice!😍

Call 1-800-HOTMILF

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My daughter and her boyfriend decided to visit me recently.

They arrived way earlier than I expected and they pretty much caught me banging a young guy who happened to live in the same apartment building as me…

the guy was old enough to be my daughter’s boyfriend. Needless to say, it was really, really awkard!

He wasn’t even really all that good looking to be honest; but he was charming and quite persistent.

I pretty much couldn’t say NO as soon as I felt that long, hard shaft of his. I mean for fuck’s sake, LOOK AT IT! Who knew that such an awkward 19 year old boy could be so HUNG like a freakin horse?? Oh my goodness. But don’t get it twisted, I’m not some floozy off the streets okay? It’s been a while since I’ve had sex and this…THIS was completely random. I probably would never do something like that again. But wow I can’t deny it, the sex was fucking AMAZING. That boy had a lot of energy and he was incredibly strong. Just thinking about his hard cock pumping into my dripping, wet cunt is making me all gushy again; it’s hard to believe that I just let myself go like that.

I even think my daughter’s boyfriend was quite interested in what he saw that day. I mean honestly, look at me – you can’t deny that my tits are simply amazing.

Imagine walking in on something like that…how would you react?

Call: 1-800-HOT-MILF

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I know I’ve been posting a lot of brunettes lately. So here’s a hot, big titty blonde for once. Those are some glorious fuckin boobs. Thank you, citizens of Tumblr!

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

I love how a man always assumes that a woman’s fantasy always has another girl in it. Even my fucking boyfriend assumes that if and when we’re gonna have a threesome – it basically means me, him and another girl.

Well, did it ever occur to you that a woman’s fantasy might involve 2 guys instead?

Oh my bad, it’s always about YOU and what YOU want, isn’t it? You must be thinking: fuck what a girl wants. It’s all about ME.

Perhaps you don’t know women as much as you think you do…

To be honest I’d rather masturbate, play out MY own fantasies, CUM GOOD and CUM HARD than get pounded mediocrely in real life and not cum at all. But hey, that’s just me.

Did you know that most women don’t even have an orgasm during sex? Sure we get turned on and we definitely get wet, but it’s not the same as coming. Guys have a happy ending, women do not.

And just because you’re attractive and have a big dick, doesn’t always mean the sex is guaranteed to be amazing.

This opens up a window of opportunity for guys who don’t think they’re that good looking. If you and I are having phone sex and you’re smart, funny, sexy and engaging me a certain way…AND you have a sexy fucking voice to top it off…

then I might feel a certain way about you when our session is done, regardless of how you look.

Do you see where this is going? Fantasies are the real deal. You could be ugly as fuck in real life (same goes with phone sex operators haha) but your voice and personality might be really sexy and irresistable. Looks aren’t always everything.

Annnnd I lost track as to the point of this blog post.

Just kidding, I remember now: I sooo want to get banged by two dudes. In real life.

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So if you think you’re open-minded enough to share me with another guy…or maybe you’re a shapeshifting humanoid alien who can produce another dick from your body to satisfy me?

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX