When my boyfriend and I can’t have sex in the house, we go to the park.

And honestly, by the time we get there – we’re so fucking horny at that point that we pretty much stopped giving a fuck.

And that’s when weird stuff starts to happen.

It happened on a Wednesday night. My parents were home, talking in the kitchen. We were pretending to watch TV in the living room but Mike (my hot as fuck BF) was putting his hand up my miniskirt. He managed to pull my sticky panties aside and started to fingerbang me with his fat middle finger. Jesus fucking christ I was getting so slippery wet, I wanted to lock lips with him & let him fuck me already. Instead, I let out a soft moan and stared at the TV.

So I told my parents that we were going to the store to get something sweet. Lame excuse but it always works. My parents are always distracted about whatever the fuck they’re talking about anyway. Lucky me!

We walk to the park which is about 3 blocks down. This park is fun, it has lots of trees and bushes. Kind of hidden, which is a perfect spot to fuck. Other people fuck here too, I guess they have the same idea as us.

But we were alone tonight in the open air. Just the silent trees and bushes, (I think).

Mike and I didn’t waste no time & were pretty much dry humping on the damn bench. God, he sure was making me horny! It was dark except for the lamp that was a few feet away from the bench so it literally made the park pitch black while we had the soft light on us. I didn’t care, I wanted Mike to fuck me in every which way. God, he’s hot – tall, dark hair, brown skin, big dick.

So I slid down from Mike’s crotch, got on my knees, pulled down his pants and started sucking on that big dick. I bobbed, slobbered, went up and down that diamond hard shaft. I made loud, sucking noises & that really got him going. He starts to moan for me.

It must’ve been a full minute when I started to feel like we weren’t alone. Mike was lost in ecstasy while I started to shift my eyes, I couldn’t see anything. Tree shadows, bushes maybe?

So I kept on sucking, but felt a little uneasy.

Then I heard a man grunting. It was definitely a man. I heard distinct sounds of ‘fap, fap, fap’ repeatedly and my eyes widened with terror. There’s a fuckin homeless man jerking off to us!

I wanted to scream. Yes, with a cock in my mouth

Even worse, Mike wouldn’t let me stop sucking him off. He felt me tightening up & getting scared and kept his hands firmly on my head, telling me ‘it’s ok baby, it’s ok, we’re almost done here. Just some homeless dude, he’s harmless. Keep at it baby, you’re gonna make me fucking CUM!’

I didn’t want to let Mike down so I kept on sucking. Faster and faster, with a homeless man grunting and fapping in the background. I closed my eyes shut and thought about all the fucking I was gonna get from Mike later. Missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl, eating my pussy, 69, maybe (MAYYYYBE) anal. Just imagining him having his way with me made me so wet. I wanted him to pump his dick into me, I wanted so bad to have sloppy ass sex with him. Mike must’ve been reading my mind ‘cuz he was about to CUM…

and then my mouth filled up with warm, thick come.

Then the grubby man came out of the darkness, drunk with dick in hand saying “That was the best goddamn live porno I’ve ever seen! Thanks for the free show kids!” And stumbled off into the park, laughing like a maniac.

I slapped Mike square in the face, called him an asshole and walked off.

Ohhh you better fuck me good tonight, Mike. I just gave you a blowjob in front of a fucking bum! Gross.

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Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

It’s funny, awkward, but also really sexy! And if you want sexy, pay close attention to the interracial couple. Omfg, that was actually pretty damn HOT.

So how much hotter would it be with a completely anonymous person? Find out for yourself…

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

Drunky McNasty, I think? I don’t know…

I really want to say something smartass-y for this post, but tbh I’m tired. Real life is fucking hard sometimes. Like I just wanna go home, crawl into bed and sleep for a few hours. Wake up at 9pm-ish, drink coffee (nightowl, remember?), clean my apartment, dance around and get pumped up, answer some phone sex calls and chill.

So yeah, that would be my ideal night. So call me Daddy & let’s fuck.

Call 888-ASK-4SEX

asian-girls-phonesex

Let’s be honest here, okay? Not all of us are gonna be going out to dinner and a movie this weekend with someone. And who wants to go out anyway, it’s gonna be crowded as fuck everywhere! I hate crowds and I hate waiting in line. Valentine’s Day is for regular people, and I am NOT a regular person. Bah humbug! Lol. So yeah, I’m probably gonna be holed up in my apartment, watching all kinds of porn (big dicks are my favorite), getting REALLY WET & rubbing one out a few times and talking to guys on the phone.

My best friend (who’s also a phone sex chick btw with a VERY sexy voice and might I add is hot in real life) will most likely come over and keep me company. She’s weird and freaky like me, and if you saw us together you’d probably think we’re sisters. We’re gonna hang out, eat pizza in our underwear, drink beer, laugh and talk shit about people we hate, and if you call…we’ll probably be drunk and we’ll probably be VERY horny by then…and then we’re gonna give you the BEST phone sex threesome gangbang mindfuck you’ve ever had, because we’re damn good at it. And you’ll cum HARD, but seriously though…don’t cum too quick ok?! We HATE that shit.

So you just have to call & find out! Let’s fucking party phone sex style! Fuck V-Day lol xox

Call us! 1-800-745-PLAY

Dead! I love phone sex spoofs, especially when they’re really funny. This one had me rolling!!

Have I told you that I love talking shit to a dude, it makes my day. It gets my adrenaline pumping actually…

just saying! Sluts gotta have fun too ;)

phone-sex

I’ve searched on Google and found sporadic answers here and there (mostly on Yahoo). I figured I would compile all that I’ve seen and put it here, because no matter how many times I’ve had phone sex, I still constantly wonder why guys like it too? I guess I’m just weird like that. Edited for the atrocious spelling & use of grammar. Some of these are really fucking hilarious by the way. More will be added as I find them!

  • Obviously to jerk off
  • Because thinking that you’re playing with yourself at the same time is hot.
  • Because we don’t have to see the ugly face of the woman.
  • Because it’s the closest thing to getting tail that a guy can do, besides a webcam
  • Cuz they’re perverted horn dogs. Guys like any form of sex. Phone sex, real sex, cyber sex. Pervs. lol
  • I’d rather have phone sex if I’m horny because I’d be talking at least with a live girl I know and more than likely really like and I’ll probably be seeing her later and will be able to act out some of the phone sex lol, whereas watching porn is just watching nude strangers in a video that are acting fake and without any interaction besides and then being let down later when with real girls that don’t seem as sexy. Phone sex is always sexy and a huge turn on because you can keep making your own stories. Porno can get boring once you’ve seen it all.
  • Ok they like it cuz it can feel good or they dont want to get the girl pregnant and they may just have a chode

Which leads me to the next question from the last bullet point: what is a chode? I always thought ‘chode’ was the area between your butthole and genitals. But whatever!

Apparently, ‘chode’ means different things to different people. Here it is from Urban Dictionary:

A penis wider than it is long
My boyfriend wanted a hand-job but i couldn’t get a good grip because he had a chode.
And so I laughed and I laughed. That is all.
So um, call me. So we can laugh and talk shit about how lame & stupid phone sex is…then have phone sex right after ;)

Haha for reals, I amuse myself so fucking much!

This is probably my last post for 2015. Thanks again for visiting EASYGIRLS! Thanks for being horny enough to call us again and again. And thanks for reading this blog! Not to get too corny on you but I wish you all a happy, prosperous and most importantly…sex-filled 2016! xoxoxo

Edit: Just found this! Hahah ;)

 

teen-phonesex-sluts

It’s freakin’ cold outside, so I’ve been staying home a lot. And I get soooo bored so easily, it’s not even funny. My bestie comes over sometimes and then we end up being bored…TOGETHER. Sounds kinda lame, right? We lie in bed together talking about how bored we are. But then we kinda start groping each other – first we strip down to our underwear and then we run our hands all over each other’s smooth skin. We bust out the camera and start taking sexy pics! We bumped chests while posing and ended up touching each other’s boobs! LOL! Do you see where this is going? Care to join us? WE LOVE playing with a very HARD piece of meat. If you like what you see mister, just click on the pic to call now! ;)

Call 888-DREAM-WET