Mondays fucking suck. I’m trying to have a better PMA and shit but fuck. I just wanna cuss everyone out today and tell everyone to fuck off. I don’t wanna read anymore of your annoying fucking emails, I don’t want to do anymore fucking work. JUST GO AWAY AND LET ME LOOK AT MEMES.😫

I’m raging pretty hard right now and I’m horny as fuck too, blame my period! I feel like getting pounded hard on the phone while I ride one of my favorite toys saying “OH FUCK, FUCK YEAH. SLIDE THAT COCK IN REAL GOOD, BABY…MY PUSSY IS ALL BLOODY AND SLIPPERY AND WET FOR YOU…MY JUICES ARE LITERALLY DRIPPING DOWN MY THIGHS…OH YEAH BABY THAT FEELS SOOOOOO GOOD, YOU’RE GUNNA MAKE ME CUM HARD ALL OVER YOUR BIG, HARD FUCKING COCK!!”😮🍆💦

So who’s down for some agressive phone sex right now?? CALL ME IF YOU’RE ANGRY AS FUCK TOO!!

SO YEAH, FUCK YOU. COME AND FUCK ME.🖕😡🖕

Call 1-800-PHONESEX*

Fuckin dying over here, holmes! I briefly read the comments and someone said they actually called it and it’s real?? Even better!😂

Anyways, if you wanna call us for phone sex you know what to do!

Call 1-800-PHONESEX*

The only way you can have ‘Mom’ all to yourself is to call. Otherwise, she’s a busy fucking lady in real life – cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to school, pleasing her husband and being effortlessly sexy. So you better make it worth her time, otherwise she’s hanging up!

Just kidding.

But seriously though, be prepared. Don’t be shy to tell me what you want, ok?😘

Call: 1-800-MOM-SEX-4U

Ok seriously, WTF. Who did this?? I’m shocked obviously and my mind is blown. Like, where did you all come from?? Did you all come from Brazzers.com??

So thanks a lot people…now the PRESSURE is really ON for me to post some really good content here! SMH.

Haha, not. I do what I want!!😝

Nothing’s changed. Just getting more traffic, that’s all.

So enjoy the archives…or call right now for a hot phonefuck. Bye!

Call 1-800-PHONESEX*

How great is it to know that us ladies still have something to look forward to as we age! Pornstar MILF actress Julia Ann proves that age is bullshit. Nina Hartley is much older and she looks fucking great too. There’s a handful of ladies that are thriving and doing it well in an industry that values youth and tight skin and so I have nothing but the utmost respect for these mature babes.

So are you into mature women? If you’re ready to stop fucking around with young girls who don’t know what the fuck they want then click to call now!😘

Call: 1-800-MOM-SEX-4U

Can’t get enough of Julia Ann? Here is her Instagram!

Wow. So I have not posted anything trans/shemale-related in a while. To tell you the truth I am so over sex right now, I honestly think it’s overrated. Like I can’t stand to watch people fuck and I don’t wanna watch porn – it’s fucking boring. You might be even thinking right now that I’m probably not getting fucked right or something. Maybe, perhaps…but that’s besides the point.😝

The point is, this photo is hot as fuck. I’m into seeing people DRESS UP for sex. I think I have a fetish. I don’t want to see naked people anymore, I want to see women, men, queer, trans – basically people of all shapes in sizes feeling beautiful and powerful as fuck in their SEX OUTFITS.

Not only is she hot, but she has a bigass fucking cock. She’ll literally fuck and pound your ass into submission.

Call 1-800-GIRLMAN

Watch me try phone sex with @comedianjoncea and @kanishaiscomedy 😂😂 link in bio!

A post shared by Patrick Cloud (@patrickcloud) on

Basically my life. Guys with accents are cool.

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