I honestly have no fucking clue how we even have 20! Subscribers to this blog. That’s insanity. But thank you, I guess?? I can’t even believe the blog has lasted this long – I’ve pretty much run out of things to say like 6 months ago.

So here’s a pic of my big round ass and my gorgeous asshole, spread wide so I can ride this dick proper. You know it’s really not me, but let’s just pretend it is, ok??😜

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We getting turnt up tonight!!

Hah, not really.

More like: we bloggin, we tweetin, we gettin lit, we sexy talkin on the phone allllll night long.

Staying home and making dat money, basically.

Here’s some party music to get you hyped.

Have a nice weekend. Call us if you’re horny as fuck😘😘😘

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

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Hi. It’s been a fucking minute, hasn’t it? I haven’t posted here because I’ve actually run out of things to say, to be honest. I think I’m even a little burnt out by phone sex and I’m sick of looking at porn too. I need a permanent vacation, or better yet…I need to get seriously far away from this world. I wish to be abducted by aliens and never return to this shitty planet.👽

So I’m just gonna do what everyone else does on the internet: steal pictures from Tumblr and post them here.

So. Wanna fuck me on the phone?

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

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It’s kinda hard to write anything sexy today. My heart is hurting and I can’t focus.

Although I consider myself to be a cis woman, I got nothing but love, respect & admiration for LGBTQ people and anyone who just wants to express their true love really – no matter their exterior appearance, no matter what people might think or say.

I want to send love to everyone who is hurting right now, especially those who are directly affected by this tragedy.

We must continue to spread love.

When my boyfriend and I can’t have sex in the house, we go to the park.

And honestly, by the time we get there – we’re so fucking horny at that point that we pretty much stopped giving a fuck.

And that’s when weird stuff starts to happen.

It happened on a Wednesday night. My parents were home, talking in the kitchen. We were pretending to watch TV in the living room but Mike (my hot as fuck BF) was putting his hand up my miniskirt. He managed to pull my sticky panties aside and started to fingerbang me with his fat middle finger. Jesus fucking christ I was getting so slippery wet, I wanted to lock lips with him & let him fuck me already. Instead, I let out a soft moan and stared at the TV.

So I told my parents that we were going to the store to get something sweet. Lame excuse but it always works. My parents are always distracted about whatever the fuck they’re talking about anyway. Lucky me!

We walk to the park which is about 3 blocks down. This park is fun, it has lots of trees and bushes. Kind of hidden, which is a perfect spot to fuck. Other people fuck here too, I guess they have the same idea as us.

But we were alone tonight in the open air. Just the silent trees and bushes, (I think).

Mike and I didn’t waste no time & were pretty much dry humping on the damn bench. God, he sure was making me horny! It was dark except for the lamp that was a few feet away from the bench so it literally made the park pitch black while we had the soft light on us. I didn’t care, I wanted Mike to fuck me in every which way. God, he’s hot – tall, dark hair, brown skin, big dick.

So I slid down from Mike’s crotch, got on my knees, pulled down his pants and started sucking on that big dick. I bobbed, slobbered, went up and down that diamond hard shaft. I made loud, sucking noises & that really got him going. He starts to moan for me.

It must’ve been a full minute when I started to feel like we weren’t alone. Mike was lost in ecstasy while I started to shift my eyes, I couldn’t see anything. Tree shadows, bushes maybe?

So I kept on sucking, but felt a little uneasy.

Then I heard a man grunting. It was definitely a man. I heard distinct sounds of ‘fap, fap, fap’ repeatedly and my eyes widened with terror. There’s a fuckin homeless man jerking off to us!

I wanted to scream. Yes, with a cock in my mouth

Even worse, Mike wouldn’t let me stop sucking him off. He felt me tightening up & getting scared and kept his hands firmly on my head, telling me ‘it’s ok baby, it’s ok, we’re almost done here. Just some homeless dude, he’s harmless. Keep at it baby, you’re gonna make me fucking CUM!’

I didn’t want to let Mike down so I kept on sucking. Faster and faster, with a homeless man grunting and fapping in the background. I closed my eyes shut and thought about all the fucking I was gonna get from Mike later. Missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl, eating my pussy, 69, maybe (MAYYYYBE) anal. Just imagining him having his way with me made me so wet. I wanted him to pump his dick into me, I wanted so bad to have sloppy ass sex with him. Mike must’ve been reading my mind ‘cuz he was about to CUM…

and then my mouth filled up with warm, thick come.

Then the grubby man came out of the darkness, drunk with dick in hand saying “That was the best goddamn live porno I’ve ever seen! Thanks for the free show kids!” And stumbled off into the park, laughing like a maniac.

I slapped Mike square in the face, called him an asshole and walked off.

Ohhh you better fuck me good tonight, Mike. I just gave you a blowjob in front of a fucking bum! Gross.

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Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

You guys, this song is FIRE!! This hot new song is by (Khia, remember her?) and TS Madison – ex pornstar, entertainer, entrepreneur.

I just had to post it because I’m hooked and I think she’s beautiful and funny as fuck.

And here’s a picture of her big ass dick! See my other blog post about this Big Dick Bitch! ;)

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You like transsexual women? Then click the number below to get your hot phone sex fantasy started!

Call 1-888-WET-TSTV

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Another short story submitted by a friend of mine (a guy):

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I have dreams about (I’ll call her Mrs. Rios), my neighbor. She’s super hot and curvy in all the right places. She lives across the street & comes home around 6pm everyday and so I lurk on her from my bedroom window. I even spent some money on binoculars so I can really see those gorgeous tits of hers.

When she’s looking extra fine, I start to stroke my cock to her. She makes me cum pretty fucking hard.

Let me describe her to you: she’s about 5’8″ I think – long, black hair, brown skin, curvy, big tits, MILFY basically. She’s probably almost 40 but she looks damn good. But she’s also married. Her husband is shorter than her and from the looks of it, she’s the shot caller. She drives a beamer and has a Gucci bag and all. Tried saying hi to her one day and she just looked at me. Fucking bitch. She’s a high class, stuckup broad and probably wouldn’t give me the time of day…

except in my fantasy.

Yup. I’m fucking this cunt in my fantasy, and she loves it. She acts like she doesn’t, but when I bust out my cock and slap my hardass meat on her face – it’s over. Oh and I forgot to mention…her puny little husband is watching! Hahaha.

You see, I know when they’re home. So one night, I put on a ski mask, got my bb gun and walked over there around 8pm. Mrs. Rios was in the kitchen and her hubby was watching TV. I snuck into one of the windows and surprised the shit out of them! It was hot so Mrs. Rios was wearing a boner-inducing outfit – tank top, no bra and small ass shorts. Oh my fucking God! I instantly got a hardon so I had to do this quick. I grabbed her from her fine behind, my hard dick practically poking her ass, pointed the bb gun at her head and told her not to fucking move…

We’re gonna make our way to the living room now and you better not fucking scream or I’ll pull the trigger. I think she was scared, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel that she was also turned on? Her fuckin nipples were literally poking through her tank top. WTF, was she excited or something? The thought of it got me even harder. I really wanted to fuck her right then and there but hold on…

So we make our way to the living room. Me with a goddamn boner, ski mask on, pretending to rob Mrs. Rios. Her husband was scared as fuck. He’s short and wimpy looking, but maybe he’s smarter than he looks. I’m pretty sure my dick’s bigger than his.

Put your hands up and don’t fucking move! I’m gonna keep this gun pointed at you so you better not scream or shout. Do you understand??

Wimpy husband nodded.

I still had Mrs. Rios around my arms. I pushed her down to their couch. Her hair was in disarray and her tank top had shifted. One of her tits really wanted to come out.

I think by then, Mrs. Rios and her husband saw my hardon. They were calm & really quiet, as if they knew what was about to go down!

So I told her to get on all fours and crawl to me. She did what she was told and I stroked her beautiful hair then pushed her head to my cock. Suck it, you stuck up fucking bitch. Suck it real good now…

I still had my fake gun pointed at her husband when my face started to contort into that sex face. Mrs. Rios was licking the tip of my 8″ inch dick and doing some flicking with her tongue. She was taking it all in, grabbing my balls and sucking my dick hard. Damn baby, you’re gonna make me cum so I pushed her back, made her face her darling husband while I turned into a real savage and got rough with her. I pulled her shorts & panties down and started to fuck her hard doggystyle while slapping her thick, fat ass. It must’ve stung ’cause Mrs. Rios whimpered. Ski mask was still on so I was sweating like crazy! I was pounding this bitch into submission, sliding in & out of that juicy cunt while telling her that she was nothing but a stuckup bitch and a whore. She was moaning loud and screaming ‘YES, I’M A FUCKING WHORE’ while I pulled on her beautiful disheveled hair.

When I finally came, her husband also had a hard on. So I told him, get over here cuckold and lick up my jizz! I had pulled out enough to cum all over Mrs. Rios’ ass crack and pussy. I really don’t need a pregnant bitch right now.

He did what he was told. So odd, it’s as if he’s done this before. He was calm, but also really delighted it seems. Married couples are freaks, yo.

And while he did that, I zipped up my pants as quickly as I could and bolted the fuck out of there.

Call: 800-455-CUMM

Everybody is sooo into fitness these days. I guess I am too but my workouts are usually half-assed. But seriously though, don’t work out too hard where those titties get small. Stay voluptuous, stay thick and keep those beautiful tits huge by any means necessary! ;)

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