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Yes, Halloween is here! So we figured it would be fitting to bring out the alternatives. You like kinky girls who wear gloves and fishnets, or how about a BBW with huge tits? Maybe you have a foot fetish or better yet…you prefer boys?

Call 888-4-KINKY-SEX

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My daughter and her boyfriend decided to visit me recently.

They arrived way earlier than I expected and they pretty much caught me banging a young guy who happened to live in the same apartment building as me…

the guy was old enough to be my daughter’s boyfriend. Needless to say, it was really, really awkard!

He wasn’t even really all that good looking to be honest; but he was charming and quite persistent.

I pretty much couldn’t say NO as soon as I felt that long, hard shaft of his. I mean for fuck’s sake, LOOK AT IT! Who knew that such an awkward 19 year old boy could be so HUNG like a freakin horse?? Oh my goodness. But don’t get it twisted, I’m not some floozy off the streets okay? It’s been a while since I’ve had sex and this…THIS was completely random. I probably would never do something like that again. But wow I can’t deny it, the sex was fucking AMAZING. That boy had a lot of energy and he was incredibly strong. Just thinking about his hard cock pumping into my dripping, wet cunt is making me all gushy again; it’s hard to believe that I just let myself go like that.

I even think my daughter’s boyfriend was quite interested in what he saw that day. I mean honestly, look at me – you can’t deny that my tits are simply amazing.

Imagine walking in on something like that…how would you react?

Call me: 800-MOM-SEX4U

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I know I’ve been posting a lot of brunettes lately. So here’s a hot, big titty blonde for once. Those are some glorious fuckin boobs. Thank you, citizens of Tumblr!

Call 888-4-SEXY-TIT

I love how a man always assumes that a woman’s fantasy always has another girl in it. Even my fucking boyfriend assumes that if and when we’re gonna have a threesome – it basically means me, him and another girl.

Well, did it ever occur to you that a woman’s fantasy might involve 2 guys instead?

Oh my bad, it’s always about YOU and what YOU want, isn’t it? You must be thinking: fuck what a girl wants. It’s all about ME.

Perhaps you don’t know women as much as you think you do…

To be honest I’d rather masturbate, play out MY own fantasies, CUM GOOD and CUM HARD than get pounded mediocrely in real life and not cum at all. But hey, that’s just me.

Did you know that most women don’t even have an orgasm during sex? Sure we get turned on and we definitely get wet, but it’s not the same as coming. Guys have a happy ending, women do not.

And just because you’re attractive and have a big dick, doesn’t always mean the sex is guaranteed to be amazing.

This opens up a window of opportunity for guys who don’t think they’re that good looking. If you and I are having phone sex and you’re smart, funny, sexy and engaging me a certain way…AND you have a sexy fucking voice to top it off…

then I might feel a certain way about you when our session is done, regardless of how you look.

Do you see where this is going? Fantasies are the real deal. You could be ugly as fuck in real life (same goes with phone sex operators haha) but your voice and personality might be really sexy and irresistable. Looks aren’t always everything.

Annnnd I lost track as to the point of this blog post.

Just kidding, I remember now: I sooo want to get banged by two dudes. In real life.

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So if you think you’re open-minded enough to share me with another guy…or maybe you’re a shapeshifting humanoid alien who can produce another dick from your body to satisfy me?

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

I honestly have no fucking clue how we even have 20! Subscribers to this blog. That’s insanity. But thank you, I guess?? I can’t even believe the blog has lasted this long – I’ve pretty much run out of things to say like 6 months ago.

So here’s a pic of my big round ass and my gorgeous asshole, spread wide so I can ride this dick proper. You know it’s really not me, but let’s just pretend it is, ok??😜

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Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

We getting turnt up tonight!!

Hah, not really.

More like: we bloggin, we tweetin, we gettin lit, we sexy talkin on the phone allllll night long.

Staying home and making dat money, basically.

Here’s some party music to get you hyped.

Have a nice weekend. Call us if you’re horny as fuck😘😘😘

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

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Hi. It’s been a fucking minute, hasn’t it? I haven’t posted here because I’ve actually run out of things to say, to be honest. I think I’m even a little burnt out by phone sex and I’m sick of looking at porn too. I need a permanent vacation, or better yet…I need to get seriously far away from this world. I wish to be abducted by aliens and never return to this shitty planet.👽

So I’m just gonna do what everyone else does on the internet: steal pictures from Tumblr and post them here.

So. Wanna fuck me on the phone?

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

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It’s kinda hard to write anything sexy today. My heart is hurting and I can’t focus.

Although I consider myself to be a cis woman, I got nothing but love, respect & admiration for LGBTQ people and anyone who just wants to express their true love really – no matter their exterior appearance, no matter what people might think or say.

I want to send love to everyone who is hurting right now, especially those who are directly affected by this tragedy.

We must continue to spread love.