I got taxes on my mind yall, so I’m updating this post. But then maybe you’re a freak and would like me to say tax terms to you while you stroke it?

In that case, call me for some voice sex…😘📱😘


Hope you got your damn taxes done on time. But if you haven’t, let us help you procrastinate even further. Not quite a #tbt but more of a way back Wednesday, this one is from 2013! Come back tomorrow to see part 2! :)

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

incum-tax-phonesex

Click for Part 2 of Incum Tax Time!

 

I love phone sex commercial spoofs, they’re funny as fuck and they make my day. There has to be humor in what I do or else I’d be very sad and probably just kill myself.

But seriously though, who’s the babe? She’s HOT!! And can we say TIG OL’ BITTIES much??😍😍😍

Good job Huf, you’ve got me to pay attention!

So fuck it, you wanna have some one-on-one phone sex fun for real?? Click or call the phone number below!

Call 1-800-PHONESEX

Her name was Christina. She was the cashier manager at the university bookstore where he worked. She was a bitch, but she radiated sex. He glanced over from his register to where she stood, her eyes downcast, head tilted slightly to the right as she rung up a return. The slut. Her eyes were cool and bored. They were the same color as her coffee-and-cream skin. She wore a bright pink sweater today, and he could see the bulge of her nipples beneath it’s thin fabric. She couldn’t be wearing a bra. He felt his cock start to get hard inside his pants.

Read the rest here!

tumblr_nsmxtyacGm1ubz2s5o1_500

Call 888-869-BOOTY


I know I tend to mention big dicks a lot. And yes, if you read this blog regularly then you know how much I LOVE them but for the rest of the population…

it’s okay to be average.

it’s also okay to be smaller than average.

But you know what I really don’t like? Small dick guys who overcompensate & become jerks through their words and actions.

Please don’t be a jerk, don’t buy into the idea that you are less of a man (unless it’s your kink or whatever). It’s easier to just come clean and be honest than be a literal dick to people. But hey, if you want to lose friends/respect from your peers then by all means, carry on.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that with phone sex or real life situations, get creative & use your imagination!

If your dick is small, be the best at licking pussy or to be gender-neutral here – giving head. They might be even down to try anal with you.

Remember boys and girls, porn is a fantasy. It is not real life. So don’t assume that your partner likes things a certain way just because you saw it in a porno. And don’t assume that your partner always likes it big! They might actually prefer something else. It may seem silly, but asking questions means you care about how the other person feels.

And that is my PSA for the day.

Is sex in real life still scary for you? Don’t worry, you can always have phone sex first! And who knows, you might learn a thing or two from our sexually skilled ladies ;)

Call 888-ASK-4SEX

p.s. I had to put a sexy version of Ron Jeremy here, because this is how I want to remember The Hedgehog.

Dead! I love phone sex spoofs, especially when they’re really funny. This one had me rolling!!

Have I told you that I love talking shit to a dude, it makes my day. It gets my adrenaline pumping actually…

just saying! Sluts gotta have fun too ;)

I don’t mean to rub it in, I really don’t. But I know for a fact that winter is a shitty time to be alone. Depression, loneliness and other random (unhealthy) thoughts tend to kick in and it fucking sucks. It doesn’t help that it gets dark much quicker and it’s cold.

And for some strange reason, things always seem to fall apart right around the holidays – either someone dies, someone else has some really bad news, people in long term relationships break up or they cheat and everybody finds out. All kinds of uncomfortable situations tend to come out right on the dot when everyone is supposed to be all merry and cheerful and shit.

I know how you feel, I too have a hard time escaping from myself! The stuff I think about overwhelms me sometimes. It can be too much too bear…

Luckily, I can escape myself by pretending to be someone else for a bit. It really makes me feel good to be wanted by lots of strangers.

If you’re looking to escape from yourself too, then you know what to do. I’ll be waiting!

Call 888-ASK-4-PUSSY

Do you ever feel like you’re floating away into another dimension, kinda like daydreaming or having a mild outer body experience? You’re in another dimension staring at the same thing – over and over again – hypnotized by the movement and imagining the vibration and jiggle of DAT ASS. It’s not even sexual really (well maybe a little), but it’s more like a soothing, relaxing, hypnotic…even euphoric kind of feeling. Not to get too mental about it (because I have shit to do), but this GIF has that effect on me. I feel like I can go on about my day now in a very relaxed state.

Now spank my ass and spread my cheeks, my own words just turned me on.

booty-jiggle

Call: 1-800-ASK-4ASS

holiday-teen-phonesex

Sorry not sorry! I’ve been busy and kinda slacking on the blog posts these days, but just in time for your personal “horny” holiday is this hot young teenage girl, ready to warm you up! She was our phone sex mailer cover girl from 2012. Enjoy and as always, give us a call if you’re feeling it! ;)

Call 800-ASK-4SEX

milf-phonesex

Getting closer to a slutty, sexy Halloween! We know for a fact that our callers love hot moms, aka MILFs. There’s so much boner material right there. I mean, what young man hasn’t dreamt of being seduced by a hot, older woman? She already knows exactly what to do to make you explode, just making you beg for more. So here’s another throwback phone sex mailer from 2012. Enjoy and get to phone fucking a mature lady now! ;)

Call 1-888-769-BETTY