Ok seriously, WTF. Who did this?? I’m shocked obviously and my mind is blown. Like, where did you all come from?? Did you all come from Brazzers.com??

So thanks a lot people…now the PRESSURE is really ON for me to post some really good content here! SMH.

Haha, not. I do what I want!!😝

Nothing’s changed. Just getting more traffic, that’s all.

So enjoy the archives…or call right now for a hot phonefuck. Bye!

Call 1-800-PHONESEX*

How great is it to know that us ladies still have something to look forward to as we age! Pornstar MILF actress Julia Ann proves that age is bullshit. Nina Hartley is much older and she looks fucking great too. There’s a handful of ladies that are thriving and doing it well in an industry that values youth and tight skin and so I have nothing but the utmost respect for these mature babes.

So are you into mature women? If you’re ready to stop fucking around with young girls who don’t know what the fuck they want then click to call now!😘

Call: 1-800-MOM-SEX-4U

Can’t get enough of Julia Ann? Here is her Instagram!

Wow. So I have not posted anything trans/shemale-related in a while. To tell you the truth I am so over sex right now, I honestly think it’s overrated. Like I can’t stand to watch people fuck and I don’t wanna watch porn – it’s fucking boring. You might be even thinking right now that I’m probably not getting fucked right or something. Maybe, perhaps…but that’s besides the point.😝

The point is, this photo is hot as fuck. I’m into seeing people DRESS UP for sex. I think I have a fetish. I don’t want to see naked people anymore, I want to see women, men, queer, trans – basically people of all shapes in sizes feeling beautiful and powerful as fuck in their SEX OUTFITS.

Not only is she hot, but she has a bigass fucking cock. She’ll literally fuck and pound your ass into submission.

Call 1-800-GIRLMAN

Watch me try phone sex with @comedianjoncea and @kanishaiscomedy 😂😂 link in bio!

A post shared by Patrick Cloud (@patrickcloud) on Jul 5, 2017 at 2:34pm PDT

Basically my life. Guys with accents are cool.

Call 1-800-PHONESEX*

Come and touch my BIG, soft boobs! Put your mouth all over them…pull, bite and suck my nipples too!😝💦💦

Call 1-800-BIGTITS

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Call 1-800-SEXTALK

Seriously though, who doesn’t love a big fucking ass? So round, so thick, so spankable, so juicy! Call now if you’re an ASSMAN, baby!! I can’t wait to put my ass all up in your face and let you smell it!😋🍑😋🍑😋🍑

Call 1-800-ASK-4-ASS

I gotta hand it to the porn stars and sex workers – they’re pretty much on the front lines when it comes to dealing with creeps, and I admire that very much. I gotta admit that I’m not as bold or tough as those women but luckily for me, I still have a barrier (the phone) – which still gives me a safe distance from the occasional creep that calls.

So maybe you’re a creep but aren’t aware of it? Here are some telltale signs:

You stare at women without hiding it at all, to the point where the woman is visibly uncomfortable. How can you tell she is uncomfortable? She’s probably not making eye contact with you, or she simply moves away.
You say gross things that obviously disgust women, or she tells you outright that what you said was ‘creepy as fuck’.
Women don’t want to be around you for too long. Observe this in real life and see if it holds true for you.
You look and act creepy. You don’t have to be ‘normal’, but for the sake of others, at least pretend that you are.

Here is a short guide that will make you more self-aware of your own creepiness:

Stop saying creepy stuff to women, especially if you barely know them.
If you’re in public or hanging with friends, don’t stare at a woman for too long.
Stop staring. Period. Or at least, be very subtle about it.
Respect her decision to say “No” to you. Don’t be offended and start calling her names because you didn’t get what you wanted.

Here’s the thing – it’s okay to admire women – we’re beautiful, we’re smart and we’re sexy. But don’t make it obvious! You wouldn’t like it if someone did it to you, right? Then act accordingly.

But Ms. Professional Pervert, what about the women who are just as much of a creep as the men? I’m gonna save that for another blog post.

I know, I know – not everyone believes in this.

And yet there are LOTS of guys out there with real girlfriends or real wives, who still seek something more than what they already have. And I’m not just talking about the good ol’ in and out; I’m talking about all kinds of sex in different forms – phone & cam sex, VR sex, sexting, watching porn and jerking off to it, etc.

Why is that?

Men get bored. Women get bored too. Shit, EVERYBODY gets bored at some point. Having another option makes it exciting, even sort of dangerous. It’s quite normal. That’s probably one of the reasons why Ashley Madison was so popular (remember them)?

Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that paying for sex is fine because:

You have that person’s full attention.
Sex workers are motivated by money because it’s an incentive. I mean DUH, who isn’t? Isn’t that why we ALL get up to go to work every single day?
The person you want to have sex with IRL is probably tired, or something, or something else. Long day at work, my period is here, I’m not in the fucking mood, you smell like onions and the list goes on and on…am I right??
The US economy is not in the greatest condition. People need money. There are hardly any real jobs left since they’ve mostly been outsourced, so a lot more people have added sex work to their list of work options. Supporting a sex worker from the US means you are giving back to our economy and helping it grow.

So what’s the freaking point of this blog post? Simple. Just be okay with paying for it. We all pay for our desires one way or another. Sex is no different.

With that being said, phone sex is probably the most harmless out of all the kinds of sex you can have. We’re basically enhancing the fantasies you already have, via voice.

So give us a call:

Call 1-800-PHONE-SEX*

Since no one comments on what they actually want to see on here (other than wanting to fuck or wanting to see my boobs), I will attempt to resume posting big tit gifs.

So stop being a lurker and call…

Call 1-800-SEXTALK

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