Everybody is sooo into fitness these days. I guess I am too but my workouts are usually half-assed. But seriously though, don’t work out too hard where those titties get small. Stay voluptuous, stay thick and keep those beautiful tits huge by any means necessary! ;)

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Here’s a short story submitted by a friend of mine (a guy):

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For whatever reason, I tend to attract bitchy, cunty women. Like they just think they can tell me what to do, be mean to me and I’ll totally accept it. Which is sad but quite true.

You see I’m kind of a mama’s boy, meaning I clung to my mom a lot as a kid and into my teens. She was divorced and mostly single, worked a lot and so it was basically me and her for a long time. She’d take me to school, then my friend’s mom would drop me off and I would wait for her to come home from work and we’d have dinner together.

It wasn’t always peaches and cream growing up around my mom though, she was kind of a fucking cunt. She would yell at me a lot and boss me around. She would make me do ALL kinds of chores – mop, clean the bathroom, do laundry, fold clothes and shit…like I was her personal fucking slave or something.

Yet believe it or not, I always did whatever she fucking said. I gave her dirty looks, cussed her out in my head but I never talked back. I was respectful as fuck. Then when I was done, she would come over, give me a hug and a kiss and say “you’re such a good son!”

The odd thing was, her bossing me around actually turned me on. As soon as I was done with all my chores, I was free. And then she’d switch off & was so sweet afterwards, she’d say “thank you, honey! I love you! You know, this is really for your own good.”

So I’d go to my room, lock the door, hop into bed and pull down my pants and start reliving the moment again…while jacking off to my mom.

I have vivid memories of her yelling at me and while she did, her gorgeous figure loomed over me – her heaving breasts, her wide hips and round ass, the way she smelled, her disapproving face, she was actually sexy as hell.

Even when I lost my virginity at 15, I was having all kinds of sex. But nothing really got me off as when I thought of my own damn mother. Yup, I’m one sick puppy!

Well one day, things changed. As I got older, I started going out more. I think that’s when my mom thought it was ok for her to start dating again, ‘cuz I was hardly home anymore. So my mom got herself a boyfriend, and guess what? It made me real fucking jealous. I just got replaced by some older dude and he’s plowing my mom!

I imagined them fucking, I imagined her moaning and groaning. It pissed me off and it got me even harder.

I wanted to be the one to do things to her, to make her feel good. I wanted to stare at her with her legs crossed, smoking a cigarette while I mopped the floor. And then she would tell me “you missed a spot, baby” and take a puff.

“You don’t get to fuck your own mother until all your chores are done. Got it?”

Yes ma’am!

I really want my mom physically and I’m gonna make it happen somehow. To be continued…

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Call: 888-769-BETTY

The cool thing about phone sex is that you or I can pretend to be whatever the fuck we want to be…

Like, you could be some weird creature with tentacles, wrapping your slimy, slithery extensions around my tight little body penetrating me in every hole…

While as usual I’m the helpless young girl, who just happens to have huge tits – being violated by your disgusting tentacles.

You force yourself on me while I’m kicking and screaming, ripping my underwear off, splitting my legs wide open – impregnating me in the process. I end up giving birth to this weird humanoid creature with tentacles.

But wait for it, there’s a twist!

I actually raise the damn creature and when the time is right, I track you down to exact revenge.

I make sure you experience the same things you put me through – hardcore tentacle rape!

My humanoid son is going to rape you with his tentacles, I did not ask him to do this – he wanted to. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

He’s a virile, young humanoid and he’s gonna tear your ass and mouth up. His appetite for sex is like no other; he got it from his absentee father I suppose? Except my son doesn’t force himself on innocent girls. Inspite of his tentacles, girls (and even guys) throw themselves at him, wanting to be violated by his slimy parts!

Once it’s over, you will truly know what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

And you’ll be sorry that you ever did what you did.

Call 888-4-KINKY-SEX

I’d much rather be doing this…

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Lucky for you, you can call me right now & tell me how bored and horny you are while at work. And how much you want to see my HUGE fuckin tits flop and jiggle while you’re riding me HARD!

Call 888-4-SEXY-TIT

Do you ever feel like you’re floating away into another dimension, kinda like daydreaming or having a mild outer body experience? You’re in another dimension staring at the same thing – over and over again – hypnotized by the movement and imagining the vibration and jiggle of DAT ASS. It’s not even sexual really (well maybe a little), but it’s more like a soothing, relaxing, hypnotic…even euphoric kind of feeling. Not to get too mental about it (because I have shit to do), but this GIF has that effect on me. I feel like I can go on about my day now in a very relaxed state.

Now spank my ass and spread my cheeks, my own words just turned me on.

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Call: 1-800-ASK-4ASS

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Sorry, I’ve been MIA. What can I say, I’m a busy little phone sex slut. I do it all damn it, I get fucked in ALL MY HOLES so I hope you’ve been enjoying the archives! xx

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This is getting really old. Like I get you want something for free but seriously – it’s not gonna happen. You might get it for free the first time, but after that – you gotta pay up honey! This is a service just like any other, it just so happens to be a virtual exchange of goods. Just like going to the movies, you are paying to be entertained (and in this case – blow your load).

There are real girls (wo)manning these lines, and they gotta get paid just like the rest of us who have to work.

So please, kill that shit.

P.S. I DOUBT anything I just said will have any effect so fuck it. Call if you wanna fuck a hot MILF!

Call: 800-455-CUMM

It’s been quite a year so far, hasn’t it? Trans people, women of color and big butts have become more of a thing (not that they weren’t before, just a lot more exposure now) and that’s GREAT! The porn world definitely needs more diversity. Anyway, hope you are having a good day so far. As usual if you’re digging it, call & make your Tranny Phone Sex fantasies cum true!

Call 800-779-BLOW