I know I tend to mention big dicks a lot. And yes, if you read this blog regularly then you know how much I LOVE them but for the rest of the population…

it’s okay to be average.

it’s also okay to be smaller than average.

But you know what I really don’t like? Small dick guys who overcompensate & become jerks through their words and actions.

Please don’t be a jerk, don’t buy into the idea that you are less of a man (unless it’s your kink or whatever). It’s easier to just come clean and be honest than be a literal dick to people. But hey, if you want to lose friends/respect from your peers then by all means, carry on.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that with phone sex or real life situations, get creative & use your imagination!

If your dick is small, be the best at licking pussy or to be gender-neutral here – giving head. They might be even down to try anal with you.

Remember boys and girls, porn is a fantasy. It is not real life. So don’t assume that your partner likes things a certain way just because you saw it in a porno. And don’t assume that your partner always likes it big! They might actually prefer something else. It may seem silly, but asking questions means you care about how the other person feels.

And that is my PSA for the day.

Is sex in real life still scary for you? Don’t worry, you can always have phone sex first! And who knows, you might learn a thing or two from our sexually skilled ladies ;)

Call 888-ASK-4SEX

p.s. I had to put a sexy version of Ron Jeremy here, because this is how I want to remember The Hedgehog.

slutty-milf-phonesex

I’m so confused right now, I’m experiencing all kinds of feels. Remember that one time I talked about my slutty mom? Well guess what, that fucking cunt did it again!

I already knew she was a whore (I mean, she does sex work for a living), but being my mom and all – I didn’t think she would take it there! Would you? I thought she loved and cared about me, like a mother should! What is it with thirsty women – they always seem to want other people’s property?! Well I guess my mom wanted MY property – I thought my boyfriend would be stronger than that, but I guess my mom “seduced” him and whatnot. Gross.

Anyway it happened when I came home from work early one evening, unexpectedly. I wasn’t feeling so good so I asked if I could go home.

It was quiet in the house when I got there, I wasn’t sure if anyone was home. But then I started to hear a faint moaning coming from her bedroom, and I knew it was my mom. I figured it was one of her “virtual” clients whom she regularly fucks via webcam so I ignored it.

But then I started to hear someone else groan…someone much younger and it sounded like my boyfriend! I swear to God.

But still, I didn’t make my presence known. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head and my heart was beating really fast. I was mad as hell but at the same time, I was also kinda curious. Curious because I’m a bigtime voyeur. Watching real people have sex is kind of a turn on for me. It may seem super gross to think about my mom and my boyfriend doing it – but actually, my mom is hot. I know this for a fact because everytime we go out, she gets ogled by guys and she gets hit on A LOT. It’s disgusting but it’s the truth, it’s been like this eversince I was a kid. My mom goes all out when she goes out – makeup, high heels, nails done, skintight jeans or a dress that shows off her figure with her tits popping out just enough that you HAVE to look. There was never a time when she wasn’t all dolled up – she even has makeup on when she goes to the gym! Seriously, WTF.

Anyway, so I stayed quiet as I could – slowly creeping up the carpeted stairs and tiptoeing on the hallway. The door was slightly open so I got to hear them do it. It was too risky to push the door so I could peek and have it creak on me, so I just listened. The room has a dim lamp but the hallway was dark so I couldn’t be seen. The sounds they were making sounded really good actually, enough to make me want to touch myself. Sounded like my mom was riding him on top and she was having a blast moaning and groaning with her massive tits out. I could even hear skin on skin action – like her cunt juices must’ve been dripping all over his hard dick as she rode him, her lips and asscheeks slapping against his balls. It probably got her really wet. My boyfriend has a nice dick afterall, even nicer when it’s rock hard.

I don’t know how long they were at it, but I know for a fact that my boyfriend doesn’t last very long, 10-15 minutes max. He’s gonna cum soon.

My mom is almost 40. I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 24. Not sure what to do at this point, but I think I’m not going to say anything for now. I’m gonna work this to my advantage. My revenge is going to be sooooo sweet…

After a few minutes of listening on them which felt like an eternity, I slowly backed out of there. I left the house, drove off and sat in my car for a bit, thinking about stuff. It was definitely a rush for me, so much that I shoved my hand down inside my panties and felt my own wetness.

This means I can get my fuck on too!!

Who will it be though…

Call: 800-455-CUMM

Drunky McNasty, I think? I don’t know…

I really want to say something smartass-y for this post, but tbh I’m tired. Real life is fucking hard sometimes. Like I just wanna go home, crawl into bed and sleep for a few hours. Wake up at 9pm-ish, drink coffee (nightowl, remember?), clean my apartment, dance around and get pumped up, answer some phone sex calls and chill.

So yeah, that would be my ideal night. So call me Daddy & let’s fuck.

Call 888-ASK-4SEX

The cool thing about phone sex is that you or I can pretend to be whatever the fuck we want to be…

Like, you could be some weird creature with tentacles, wrapping your slimy, slithery extensions around my tight little body penetrating me in every hole…

While as usual I’m the helpless young girl, who just happens to have huge tits – being violated by your disgusting tentacles.

You force yourself on me while I’m kicking and screaming, ripping my underwear off, splitting my legs wide open – impregnating me in the process. I end up giving birth to this weird humanoid creature with tentacles.

But wait for it, there’s a twist!

I actually raise the damn creature and when the time is right, I track you down to exact revenge.

I make sure you experience the same things you put me through – hardcore tentacle rape!

My humanoid son is going to rape you with his tentacles, I did not ask him to do this – he wanted to. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

He’s a virile, young humanoid and he’s gonna tear your ass and mouth up. His appetite for sex is like no other; he got it from his absentee father I suppose? Except my son doesn’t force himself on innocent girls. Inspite of his tentacles, girls (and even guys) throw themselves at him, wanting to be violated by his slimy parts!

Once it’s over, you will truly know what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

And you’ll be sorry that you ever did what you did.

Call 888-4-KINKY-SEX